I n f a t u a t i o n
by AliasStars
Summary: I'm Len. I'm an addict. And my drug is Rin Kagamine. /Yandere! and twisted Len. Rin/Len/ "Awkward, I just- I have no place in this dark world but to hide in the shadows and watch them. Watch her..."/ Dark themes, and just everything else you love about dark Len.
1. Infatuation

Infatuation

In Which Len Observes

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What is infatuation?

(I can answer that. Infatuation is the obsession with an individual. Or in this case, an obsession with _Rin Kagamine.)_

I'm Len.

I'm an addict.

And I'm addicted to Rin Kagamine.

Wait, wait. Look:

A foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration.

I don't love. Or admire.

_I obsess._

Let... Let me try again. Hold on. My name is Len. Len Kagamine. I'm 17. I attend Crypton High.

I write. Not in a _diary. _But in a journal. Journal, not diary. Capiche?

(I write about her.)

I write poetry. I love poetry. It's so bittersweet. Unachieved dreams. False hope. Love that acts as an _infatuation._

There's that word again. _Infatuation, infatuation, infatuation._

I have glasses. They break often. Or somebody wrenches them from my face and throws them on the ground and steps on them. Second more often than the first.

(Do you think she notices when I'm being tossed around like a rag doll with no purpose?)

Nobody really notices me. But I notice _everybody. _I know what _he _did to her last night behind closed doors. _I know _that they're arguing about which lunch meat is better. _I know _that their break-up is so harsh on her _that she cuts and he doesn't care. _I _know _that he's cheating on her with her, her, and even her- That girl who wears fake glasses and takes pictures of everything, only to post them on Instagram and fish for attention and compliments.

_But Rin's not like that._

I'm fucking messed up. Awkward, I just- I have no place in this dark world but to hide in the shadows and watch them, watch _her._

(Does she know I exist?)

One last time. I'll try one last time to introduce you to her, to introduce you to the most beautiful, quirky, hated girl on the planet.

More hated than even me.

Why is she hated so much? The one question I cannot answer. _But they can't hurt her. They can't even touch her. She's protected by her shell, even if shells are easily disposed once they are full._

My name is Len, and I have an _infatuation _with Rin Kagamine.

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Bit weird, no? Review~


	2. Much Ado About Blood

**LOL! I did _not _expect seven reviews, much less anything at all. Guys, I feelz ya. Yandere! Len is the best! xD He's so possessive! I love it, MWAHAHAHA- Er, sorry. Anyways, as you can see this chapter will contain some of Len's darker thoughts involving his precious Rin...**

Much Ado About Blood

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Once upon a time, there was a unicorn. She was lured to an enchanted forest- a spell had been cast on her -and she wandered aimlessly around until she found a beautiful, godly boy. He seemed so innocent and beautiful- and he was! -but he himself had been tricked. It was just a trap to get the blood of the unicorn. They died together, with her blood soaking the grass and coloring it red, and him of suicide- After happiness, because they were together.

I am the boy. Not that I am beautiful. It's a rough comparison, mind you.

Rin is the unicorn.

(The one whose blood spills)

I know Rin's schedule. She has Calculus, and then Chemistry, and then English. Then she has History. And after lunch, she has Biology and Japanese and Gym. Of these classes, I have two with her- Chemistry and Gym.

I hate gym. _We _hate gym. She hates being hit at. Targeted. Hurt. I hate when she's hurt. The only person's hand she can get hurt by is _mine, _and I would never hurt her anyways. This gives everyone else no right to hurt her.

Rin sings. She has a nice voice. Pretty. Light. Not rich and deep, but light and sorrowful. I don't sing. I don't speak. It's been many months since I conversed socially. Friends are disposable. Rin is... _Forever. _Forever is a strong word. I'm willing to go that far.

I dress to hide. Black, black, black. She dresses to try. For once, to be looked at. To be liked. "I did buy a new dress." But she is quickly shunned, even though it looks pretty on her- and that is a fact.

"But it's not from _this place." _Ms. Popularity says. As fake as Rin is true. They leave her standing, quivering.

Alone. Yet again.

(Alone, because she is _better _than them- They won't let her know that though.)

Rin and I are similar, yet worlds apart. She makes attempts, and I don't even bother. School is a hideous place full of lies and facades. But no matter what happens, Rin _still _tries to blend in. She never will.

Rin is easily controlled. Her emotions have long past given way to nothingness, and whatever is still inside her is easily manipulated. She's bounced from boy to boy. Not because she _cheats. _But because she is so easily bent to anyone's will that it is easy to make her do anything you want. Just tell her she's loved.

(That's the secret to Rin's heart, Rin's mind.)

_Bastards, _the whole lot of them. I'd kill them then and there if I could. If it wasn't illegal. I'm about ready to, as well. Just tell her she's loved, and Rin will be attracted like a moth to a light. And then what do those lights to?

Flicker, shut off, and trap her in glass where she becomes yet another piece of their twisted games.

But I'm definitely not like that. They're fake streetlights. I'm the sun. When Rin is drawn in, finally _mine, _I will not let her go. I will _never _let her go so she can be torn apart by the world all over again.

"How about this? I got it from there."

"Yeah, but we moved on." _Lies, _they just obviously want her to be left out forever.

Rin is beautiful, but uniquely so. She has naturally straight blonde hair that she keeps swept up with a bow. But she curls it, throws it aside, cuts it, cries over it- And the other kids... They pull it, they chop it, they yank until she's begging them to stop. I wish she'd leave it alone. It's beautiful as is.

And her eyes, oh, her eyes. They're blue. Blue, my favorite color. Blue, a bright, cheerful color that can soon drop to a dark, depressed expanse of hatred and fear. Blue like a summer sky. Blue like the darkest depths of the ocean. Blue, blue, blue.

Porcelain white skin. Fragile to touch. Delicate to feel. A bolt of silk that is white as snow. Lovely.

Hm, how I would love to reach my arms around her and hold her tight- Let her struggle a little but never let go and just kiss her and kiss her and kiss her...

But not yet. Rin will be mine. But not now.

(Not until...)

Not until I have gotten rid of everyone who has ever hurt her. Not until their blood is shed for ruining Rin's life, and their bodies are stilled to a stop for mindlessly torturing away what used to be her happiness.

Not until they _pay._

Rin is precious. She's precious, her life is precious. Every part of her is precious. Only my fingers are allowed to brush across her pale skin when she's asleep. Resting against the tree, her body nestled into the nook. Head drooping on my shoulder. Golden flyaway strands brushing across my face. Soft, quick breaths.

(Beautiful.)

My glasses flash as I pass Rin in the hallway. She has a false, sweet smile on her face. Her only true friend is skipping alongside her. Gumi. Green hair, green eyes. Odd. Unique. Not the people who pretend they are unique because they like some never-heard-of band or because they have technology that others don't.

Really unique. Used to have hair as black as night. Dyed it green. It suits her better.

In a lot of physical ways, I'm like Rin. I have the same hair color. The same eye color. But I am part of the shadows. She's her own beam of soon-to-fade light.

(But I will _bring it _back with my own light. The light of a knife)

Rin will fall, soon. And when she does...

When she does, I'll catch her.

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**Hahaha, *catches breath* I'm having a fangirl chest constriction just thinking about Len being like this! Sorry, Len. You can't have Rin-chaaan just yet ;)**

**Review, plez?**


	3. Painless Conversations

**Whoa~ Dark Len sure is a hit isn't he? :P WE LOVE YOU YANDERE LEN! *HEARTS***

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Painless Conversations

I had a conversation with my Rin today.

It went something like this:

"Hey... Len?"

(Here, I looked up at her. Probably eerily. I don't look _up, _mostly _down, _because I am rather tall. But she was standing above me.)

"Can I ask you something?"

(Ah, the suspense. Was I the one responsible for the boy's death? Was I the one who was her pillow when she took a nap at the sakura tree every day?)

"Can I borrow a pencil?"

(Here my hopes and dreams died a little bit.)

With deliberate movements, I picked up my pencil and very slowly turned to her. I didn't need a pencil.

How could she smile? How could she smile, past the thick layers of short blonde hair that she had to chop because somebody threw gum at it? How could she smile, blinking at me through eyes that were rimmed in red because of the tears and sleepless nights?

That is why, I think, I am obsessed with Rin and that darling smile of hers. Bubbly and vivacious, but not overly so. And _despite _what they did to her, she was still grinning with flawless ease.

(She can only smile at me like that. Purely. Honestly. Nobody else.)

She cast me a confused smile back and picked it up. "Thank you so much! See, I, ah, ran out of lead and-" Here she launched into a sad, heartrending rendition of her tale of woe. Everything Rin says is heartrending. You look at her, and, despite everything you've done to her, you feel bad because you did. Rin is an easy person to hurt, but easy to forgive. However, it is that inner potential that those higher up in social class look down upon.

They're _scared. _Scared that Rin's potential will beam out of her and burst into a firework of light and happiness and that Rin will rise high on the ladder of sociality, looking down at all of them. So they turn her lights off and force her into a corner of darkness, a place where she is scared to come to school, a place where she cries every _horrible _day and that happiness is slowly fading...

Don't worry, Rin. I won't let that happen to you forever. I _promise._

_And I don't break promises._

You will smile. Honestly. Purely. You _will._

* * *

I used to think that Rin was annoying. She was always so bright, such a pure flame of energy and love, that she just _stood _out. She was peppy, she was just so _happy. _And that pissed me off. How, in such a dark and false place in the world, where people were overridden with lies and hatred festered in everyone's hearts, could she be so truly overjoyed?

Until I learned her secret.

Tragically, when Rin was four, she witnessed a car slam into her parents' car, right in front of her home. Little Rin never forgot the incident, nor did she forget that she loved her parents. Because of that, she vowed to be forever happy, despite whatever happened to her.

But there is only so much hurt, pain, heartbreak, bullying, _torture _that a person could take, and Rin's shoulders are beginning to collapse. She goes to the roof more and more often. She stands at the edge and she sings, belts out her pain where only birds, the sky, and I can hear her. And when she's done, she'll walk along the edge like she just doesn't care. But everyday, she'll glance over the edge and wonder what it's like to fly.

I will not let her fly. I will cut her wings. If she flies, she'll leave me. If she leaves me...

I won't think about that any longer. It's not worth it.

An angel without wings is still beautiful...

They're picking on her again. No matter how many times she stops, turns the other direction, and continues to walk, they crowd around her again. She keeps smiling though, polite as ever.

I am not so patient.

"Ya know," the ringleader of the group taps his chin in mock wonder. Every time this action is made, they are going to comment on something of Rin's- the last thing of hers that was never taken away. She will not let it happen.

Her innocence.

"Ya know, Rin, maybe if you let me in a bit," he simpers so false-sweetly that I think I might have gotten a cavity, "Maybe, I would let you be part of the group?"

Rin is fickle, but she isn't stupid. She looks up at him, blinking, and then a soft smile dances across her face. "I'm sorry. I'm going to have to decline your invitation." She ducks beneath his arm, but it blocks her.

And then he attacks.

* * *

Rin is still crying. Her legs are swinging rhythmically against the nurse's bed and bruises are coloring her snowy skin purple and blue. She wipes her eyes once.

When they'd left her, she'd buckled- completely fainted right on the spot.

(It's a miracle she was awake for the whole thing)

I brought her here. The woman can do nothing right, but, as the nurse, it is vital I rely on her at least twice a month. I watch her bandage Rin's stomach and wrap the bandage around both her legs. Rin's lips are a thin line of solemn weariness.

I am sitting in one of the chairs, watching her like a hawk. She is desperately looking everywhere but me.

"Thank you," her lower lip quivers. "For bringing me here, Len."

My heartbeat jumps a little at the mention of my name, the one syllable that will continue to twist and turn and dance around in my head forever. The nurse gazes sternly at the two of us.

"I am to understand that you fell out of a tree, Ms. Kagamine?" Rin nods tightly, and looks at me, beseeching me to say the same thing with her eyes. I nod as well, but for reasons of my own. I would rather the school not get involved with my own plot to take care of those who hurt Rin.

"Hm. All right. I phoned home, Ms. Kagamine, and your brother answered. He said he'll come in a few minutes to pick you up." Rin didn't meet my eyes again as she nodded.

Rin's brother. Rinto. Age 21. He works so often that he barely sees Rin, and I am willing to bet that he had to break off many calls to come pick her up. This surely will not put him in a good mood, nor will Rin gain his sympathy. That's just my guess.

The nurse helps Rin down, and, as if on instinct, my own arm extends for her to grab it. She gratefully does so, appreciation flickering in her blue eyes. Evidently, she's thrilled that I'm not throwing her on the floor and stepping on her.

(I'm not them, Rin. I _want _you.)

She keeps her arm interlocked around mine longer than she needs to, even after I've set her down on the bench outside of school. This forces me down next to her, but I don't mind it at all. Before long, she has rested her entire being against mine in evident weariness. One hand of hers grips her waist and the other is wrapped around mine.

Such a close moment is something I only imagined, ever, in my thoughts and dreams, and the fact that it is _actually _happening is giving me a lot more to imagine about. And as Rin lets out a soft sigh, I know even clearer what I want.

And exactly how I'm going to get it.

(Blood. Will. Spill.)

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**Yay! More Yandere!Len for y'all. Review, pleeease~ xD **


	4. In Cold Blood

** Hi! Let me address a few things before I let you loose onto the chapter. xD Back. BACK! BAD READERS. xD**

**1. When did Len develop these feels for Rin? Hm... :D**

**2. My great comparisons? LOL, I'm flattered that you think so! :D But really, comparisons come with writing, which comes with time. Over time, comparisons will come as easy as pie! (get it, get it? xD)**

**3. Ah, I see some guesses as to which will happen. Unfortunately, nothing good happens to Rin. Nothing good _ever _happens to Rin, poor thing. xD (or Dx?) But the ideas are good! Er, well, you'll see what happens. xD**

**4. A good Yandere!Len story is A Twisted Kind of Love, by testarossa. Bloody awesomeness ;D**

**5. Guys. My friend got me stuck on this lovely game called _Ib. _It's an RPG and it has gorgeous music. It's terribly frightening, makes you jump quite a few times, but has a very intricate plot and some puzzles for those with observant eyes. XD Check it out if you can! **

**6. THANK YOU SOOOOOO *breathe* OOOOOOOO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!**

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In Cold Blood

I've never liked killing. Really, I just occupy myself with watching Rin and that satisfies me like nothing else. Killing was never a part of my life, and I expressed genuine sympathy when others were killed, mass genocide, and the like. However, I've always firmly believed in the death penalty.

When people who do very, very _bad _things are caught, they _should _be put to death.

So when my blood boils as I watch Rin being thrown on the ground like she's nothing, when I watch them force her wrist against itself, watch them bring their rough cleats down on her ankle, crushing the bone like you would snap a twig, it makes me _furious. _They are all cats and she is a small mouse. They toy with her, having their fun, before bringing their paws down onto her tail and crushing her to smithereens.

(It sickens me to the point where bloodlust begins to flood through my veins.)

Time after time after time- And the leader of it all is someone I least expected.

Kaito Shion, age 17. He has an easy smile and a dumb nature. 'Stereotypical'- Not that I follow stereotypes, but everyone has heard of this one - football player who always has the same loyal popular girl on his arm. They flaunt each other, make a very happy couple in fact. They will grow up stereotypically and go to prom together, and prom will end with their break-up. _She _will cry many tears of false sadness and he will mope around, pretending to be detached to the world.

Nothing will be true.

But why? It still plagues me, that unrelenting question that bombards me over and over and over. Why does Kaito hate Rin? Of all the people who are complete polar opposites- Rin and Kaito don't even know each other that well! He simply hates her because he wants to.

Kaito Shion will never make it to prom. Because tonight, I take the first step in ending my Rin's misery.

I am standing in the hallway, torn. Torn because each one of Rin's pleas, yelps, cries, tear a little deeper into my skin.

(Each wound you inflict on her, I will inflict on you.)

I never knew that I would use such a weapon as the one that is wrapped around my hand now. Every time, _every time _I hear the pain in her voice, the cutting wire slides deeper and _deeper _into my pale skin. Rubies splash to the ground, but I either do not notice, or do not care.

The wire is sticky with clay- I had made an unexpected stop at the art room when inspiration struck.

(When I heard her scream.)

The only reason I wait is because Rin cannot watch me kill. She cannot see me. If she sees me, I will be as monstrous as them, so for now, for now, I am her angel in disguise.

(Her bloody angel, with wings stained in red.)

It's moments before Kaito finishes his torture, and all I hear from my Rin is whimpers. There it is- That warm-

No, not warm... Boiling. Burning. _Powerful-_

_-_Wave of rage, fury.

I watch Kaito leave; my glasses flash. How I hate them, _loathe _them, _despise _them. Every time I see them, I want to satiate the bloodlust and rage in my veins by just _lashing _out, over and over, and doing to them what they did to her.

But I must _wait, _I must take care of Rin before I take care of them. It is inevitable, what will happen next.

I walk in and take in the extent of the damage. My eyes rove over the broken glass, the scissors on the ground. I don't dare try to understand whose blood it is that falls in drops from the wall, whose blood laces the edges of the scissors, whose bloods stains the glass. I crouch next to Rin, and for once, I don't know what to do.

Rin is hysterical. She's clutching onto her ears, her eyes are wild with _something. _She's _rocking, _rocking back on forth, all curled up into something small and defenseless. She's making an odd sound, something caught between a violent chatter and staggered whimpering.

She's _gone. _And I hate myself for letting it happen to her. Her left wrist hangs limp. Terror is lining her eyes, angling her jaw, forcing itself into every part of her. Lasting paranoia has Rin twitching, recoiling from even my touch. And when she does recoil, shaking like a trapped field mouse-

-I know that they will _pay. _For turning even gentle, bubbly, sweet Rin into this echo of a girl. _Pay. Down to the last drop that they stole from her._

Rin shakes again, an odd mewling noise passing her lips. She cocks her head and gives me such a terrified stare, a stare that claws deep inside me. I have to get to her. I _have to _get to Rin. So my arms wrap around her and pull her close.

Rin fights. She fights like mad, with every ounce of fight she has left. The fight that was torn viciously from her lips as screams that lingered in the air. She's using her good hand to grab at my shirt and her legs to kick wildly at nothing. She whimpers and makes small, high noises like a small animal pleading for help. I keep her close, I hear her heart pound madly with fear. But the longer I hold on, the less she fights, and soon she is trembling in my hold with small shivers that jump through her. Her eyes are wide, _struck _with fear, and her chin rests on my shoulder.

And then she starts crying.

First, they are quiet sniffles, and then they are full out sobs. Rin's hand is holding my shirt again, but this time, it's so I won't let go. And I don't. I just sit there with a traumatized Rin and let her cry her horror out, her horror at how terrible they can be. And the fact that teachers allow this to happen, right in one of their own classrooms.

And I sit, holding Rin far closer than I have ever held her. When she's done crying, she pulls away, and her gaze falls from me as she hiccups. She sits in blunt silence before falling forward, resting her chin on my shoulder again. Her hand clutches my soaked shirt and she flicks her fearful eyes at me.

"Stay," she deplored, "Stay, Len, please, I-" she pauses, and then barrels on, "I need you."

_I need you._

My stunned gaze falls onto her hair as she seats herself on my lap, her arms flung around my stomach. I shift, adjusting my glasses, and nod, feeling oddly flustered for the first time in my life.

We sit together for a long time, until the lights outside shut off and it is quiet. Only the light from outside filters into the room gently, shining over Rin, whose eyes are still red with dried tears. She sighs against my chest, a sound that reverberates through me over and over and over. I sit up, my hand tentatively fluttering around Rin's head. When it comes to Rin, I often don't know what to do.

I stand up, offering her my hand. She takes hold of it with small, shaky fingers and pulled herself up, giving me a watery smile.

"I owe you Len," she begins in wobbly voice, "I owe you a lot, actually, and I- I'm beyond glad that you were here for me today." I open my mouth to talk so I don't feel like an idiot, but she cuts me off. "In fact, Len, I've been- Well, I-" she looks frustrated and upset with herself. "I've been thinking about suicide," she finishes quietly, and my heart pauses. "I really have, but- But, Len, I know you're here for me!" she cries suddenly, looking up at me with a hopeful gaze. That hopefulness is what is keeping Rin alive, I know that- and it scares me. "Y-You are here, right?"

So I push my glasses up my nose and tell her the truth, quietly. "Always."

That word brings a soft, still terribly shaky smile to Rin's face. Despite everything that took place, Rin seems to know that I'll always be here for her, whether she returns my unrequited feelings or not.

(Are they unrequited? Does she-? No, that's ludicrous. Or maybe...?)

_And how? _How is she smiling, still? That's my Rin- My beautiful, infallible Rin.

And so Rin takes my hand, and I lead her to the nurse's office. The nurse, whom I can always rely on to stay after school with her husband, a social studies teacher in 10th grade, does not let me track Kaito down as I drop Rin off this time. No, she rounds on me impatiently- Though she could hardly be as impatient as I.

"Kagamine, you know what's going on with her! Don't you deny it!" she screeches, puffing up like a rooster. "You tell me the truth young man- Ohhh, it's that football team, I know it! I've seen 'em gang up on her- Don't you shake your head!" Now she points a thick finger at Rin's face and rages on, nostrils flaring. "You tell me the truth and you tell me right now!" Rin's eyes are on mine again- She expects me to lie, and lie I will, because today, will kill Kaito.

Pale-faced, Rin shakes her head twice, quickly, and looks me in the eyes with a grave stare. The message is clear- Lie, or they will destroy her. I turn back to the nurse. "Yes, they ganged up on her, that day- However, I have reason to believe Rin is _incredibly clumsy- _and just this morning, fell down the stairs- Again." I give Rin a disparaging stare for effect and the nurse reddens to a fascinating shade of tomato red.

"Liars, the lot of you," she rages, fists on hips as she leans over Rin. She begins tying Rin's wounds up with a vengeance, eyes throwing out sparks of fire. "Get out of here, boy." She shoos me off, and, happy to leave, I get out of there so I can find Kaito.

It is not hard to find him. He's in the football field, not doing anything productive- as usual. He's joking around with his friends, and throwing around Rin's backpack with casual ease.

They disgust me, the entire group. I grip Rin's bow in my hand and reach up, undoing my hair so it falls to about the length of Rin's hair. My pride is not a question here- All I have to do is pull off being a makeshift Rin in the distance, and Kaito will be drawn like a fish to a lure. I tie in the ribbon and walk a little away, standing in the trees. I reach into my pocket, feeling the wire, and grin without humor.

Kaito nears my spot to get a drink of water. I let out a shrill whistle for only his ears and step back as he looks up. He glances around, confused, before his eyes train on me. He stares for a few seconds and then a sharp, _mocking, terrible_ grin crosses his face. I hold my breath. If Kaito plans to make a game of this, he'll call his friends. I can't let that happen. Knowing Kaito will follow, I turn and race deeper into the forest. I tug the bow from my hair and let it fall, as a note to Kaito.

Standing behind a tree deep into the woods, I take a breath and tie up my hair, then draw out the wire from my pocket.

(This will be quick.)

"Rin," he calls, no, coos, and I almost jump right out. I glance around the tree to see him holding Rin's bow. Fingers caressing it, he twirls it and makes a show of rubbing the soft fabric between his fingers. "Oh, Rin, come on out. I just want to know how you're feeling- Maybe, if your ankle is better?" I curse- I'd forgotten about the ankle, but now I know he's a bigger idiot than I _thought. _"Obviously, since you ran so fast. Come to me. I promise I can make it _better," _he sing-songs, and I watch him recoil as I step out from behind the trees.

"Hey, you're not Rin." He has the nerve to sound annoyed.

"Glad you figured that out," I responded flatly. I am walking around him in an irrationally- I should be killing him -wide circle, so he has no idea I'm going to attack anytime soon. He, of course, sees me as no threat. His eyes follow me warily.

"You're that- That guy, Len." he blurts out in seconds. He's frowning to remember. "Ah- That one who's always lurking around?" He grins, then. "Say, you haven't- You haven't seen Rin, have you? I've got something of hers." He blatantly smiles. "Hey, if you..." He looks around conspiringly, but I keep my eyes locked on his face. "If you don't tell my gang, I'll let you in on the fun."

He stops, or maybe he didn't- I don't care because that fragment of a sentence bounces around, like it is over-caffeinated, in my head.

_I'll let you in on the fun_

_In on the fun_

_Fun_

How...

How could he even...

_How could he even suggest _that the torture he forced on_ Rin_... _MY RIN ..._was in any way fun, at all? How could he _dare, _dare to say those horrible words, and act as if I'll give that smirk right back to him and join him as he brutally violates Rin in ways that are so twisted that I don't even _dare begin to think about them... _How could _he? _How _dare he?_

I assume he kept going, kept spewing out some sort of _terrible nonsense _about his fantasies. I interrupt him, though, as I step forwards.

"Kaito," I say in a stark, white voice that burns with some sort of terrible, raging hatred. "No. I will not join you."

Kaito lets out what I can only describe as a whine. "Pity. She's fun to toy with."

At that, I absolutely cannot hold in my rage. The wire cuts lashes of bloody red into my skin and tears of disregarded pain burn in my eyes. The black anger shoots through the wire and I stalk forward until I am facing Kaito head-on, my eyes burning straight into his soul- You know, if he _had _one at all. Which he didn't, clearly, because Rin was the type of person you could not abuse and get away with it.

Because _I, _her guardian angel (demon), will always intervene.

"What do you want?" Kaito stares at me, backing up slightly. Whether he does so because I have a maniacal glint in my dark eyes, whether it's because my hand is bleeding and there's metal wire wrapped around it, whether it's the fierce, twisted grin that forces my lips upward, I will never know. Because right then, I lunge forward and wrap the wire around his throat with a quick movement of my wrist.

Before I know it, before I register the horror in Kaito's face and the bulging of his eyes, before his arms, raised to attack, slacken and fall, I feel a quick flutter, a quick ripple of strong, strong emotion. Then it's gone, and the wire is bloody, but not too bloody, and Kaito is gone. Not his body, but _him, _he's gone.

I stand there, holding the bloody wire, and stare down at him. My first murder. First kill. I feel sick, very sick to my stomach. I turn away and fall to the ground, emptying my stomach in sick horror at what I'd just done. But then I remembered, then I remembered Rin's beautiful smile, her wistful eyes, her asking me if I would always be there for her.

Little did I know this killing spree was my first taste of a very addicting drug- And the more I did it, the more I could easily kill and then walk away from the body as if it was just a trivial interference in Rin's life- our life. The more I did it, the less it mattered, the _easier it was. _

It shattered me. But it's worth it, because I always have Rin.

(Worth it for now.)

(And this is only the first step- I have a very good idea who is the second.)

**Guys, I admit it.**

**I have fallen in love with _Infatuation. /kills self for being utterly, obscenely narcissistic. _**

**_fdskjlf LENNNN YOU'RE SOOOO~ _Damn, Len is hot. Jeez, I need, like, an ice pack CUZ IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE. XD**

**/shot for being just an idiot in general**

**REVIEW PLEZ?**


	5. Even a Rose Has its Thorns

**Well, hi. Um, guys? Just cause I'm falling in love with a story, doesn't mean I can update really fast. XDDD But I am trying to balance school life and this, so please put up with me? THANKIES! LOVE YOU ALL WITH ALL MY HEART! (My heart's not very big, but... I love you as much as that quantity is!...T_T)**

Even a Rose Has its Thorns

* * *

I really, _really _don't want to be here.

We are gathered at Kaito's funeral. I don't want to see Kaito's bright, smiling face. When I do, I feel like throwing up again.

I killed this boy. _Killed him. _I'm still horrified, and my palms are sweaty. Rin doesn't seem to care, though, because she's been holding on to my hand for the past hour, her grip like a vise.

"...A loving boyfriend, a caring son, an amazing friend..."

_Lies, lies, lies! _I want to scream at them, and Rin's pale face is nearly enough to motivate me. Her eyes are bright, too, _too _bright, and they are pinpointed on Kaito's picture. Her mouth is a line. She clearly doesn't understand, doesn't _want _to understand what could have happened between the time that he broke her to the time when he died.

Her entire form _trembles. _

_"Rin," _I say quietly, but she doesn't stop quivering.

"...A great man who will never see the great days ahead- He would have wanted us to all smile every day..."

Right, unless the times you count where he brutally hurt Rin just to see her cry her eyes out.

His parents are probably the only ones who are completely, inconsolably, desolate. Miku is all crunched up, bawling into her friend's shoulder- She's sad, but she doesn't know _why _she's sad. She understands that something very big has happened, and that she is now _boyfriend-_less. But she is also sad (at least more so than her friends), and that is understandable. Rin is mouthing soundless words to herself, her eyes welling up with tired tears. Her hands, clenching mine between them, hold on like the world is coming to an end.

Finally, it's over, and I pull Rin out so we don't have to hear people saying kind things about Rin's tormenter. As I look back, I see Miku walking up, albeit shakily, to the podium. My jaw tightens. Thankfully, there are other people who are too upset and shaken to really want to listen, and they cover up our suspicious exit.

"I... I... I loved... I l-l-loved Kaito..." she begins to say, and I wince at the casual use of the word _love. _Words she could have used, like _respected, cared for, liked- _all tossed aside for _loved. _She's already begun referring to him in the past tense, and soon he will probably only be, to quote a song, "somebody that she used to know." (**Lol. Gotye! xD)**

Rin is near hysterics now that we are free of the clinging heaviness in that room. "Len, oh my god, Len, he's dead, _Kaito is dead, _I'm..." She stares at me for a minute before turning around as if ashamed, and then it strikes me like a hammer on the head.

The flash of emotion in her eyes, the way she feels incredibly guilty over nothing, how upset she was at the remembrance...

"Holy _crap_." I murmur inaudibly, when she abruptly looks away.

Rin is relieved.

And she's terrified about it.

She's actually somewhat glad that Kaito is dead- and who can blame her? -but the truth is, she's dead horrified that's she's relieved. I mean, the guy is dead. The last words she said to him were probably along the lines of "I hate you," or perhaps, "stop hurting me." And while that wasn't even _her _fault, her first emotion when he was declared dead to the entire school was probably pure, sweet relief, because she wasn't going to be pummeled to _death _anymore.

And then Rin turns to me.

"Len," she blurts out. Breaking out of my reverie, I blink at her. She's gone numb, but her eyes are still _so_ bright. "Len, I..."

And then she absolutely snaps. Like a stick. Just, completely breaks.

"Len!" She chatters, hysterical. "Len, he's dead. Kaito is dead." She claps her hand over her lips like it's taboo to just _say _the dreaded words. "No more," she mumbles, eyes wild, "no more pain, no more torture and hate, and-" her eyes are darting around madly. She wraps her thin arms around my waist and buries her entire face into my white shirt. She's so upset, she probably doesn't even notice that I'm practically twitching over the fact that she's holding me like this. "Len, is this bad? Is it bad that-" she breaks away, face soft with fear, eyes wide with panic, "Oh, Len, is it bad that I'm happy?"

It takes me a moment to answer, and my voice is slightly choked. "Of course not, Rin..." I press fingers into her hair and ruffle it gently, my fingers slipping right through her hair like it's silk. "That's just human instinct. You've been through so much crap- you deserve a break. Forever. It's awful that he's dead," I lie through my teeth, "but honestly..." I lower my voice and look around. "Honestly, it's better for you."

She looks alarmed and wary at first, but then she chokes out a weak sob and straightens, eyes heavy with grave guilt. Tears are still trailing their way down her face, but now she doesn't want to look at me.

"I guess," she says uncertainly. _Very _uncertainly. The words fall hesitantly, slowly, off her lips. "I mean," her eyes darken, the storms within them raging. "He made my life hell."

No. Don't let the corruption get to you. Don't let it take you over. Stay innocent. Beautiful. Bright with happiness.

"Rin," I whisper into her hair. My hand flutters awkwardly around her. I'm not used to having a small, crying figure pressed to me, and this is really messing up my nerves. That, and my senses are filled with Rin.

Hands on her shoulders, I push her back and settle my hands on either side of her face. One hand tentatively brushes golden strands from her wet eyes.

"You're always here for me," she says suddenly, her voice soft. "Why? What's so special about me?"

_Everything_.

My heart cracks a little, then skips a defeated little beat. I offer her a small -well, tiny- smile.

"We," I say, turning her hands upwards to bring scarred palms into light, mirroring my own hands, "are not so different. But Rin," she looks up from our palms, those stars in a blanket of blue fixated on me, "I am darkness, shadows. You are light. Never change." I press my lips against her clasped fingers. "Please."

There's a moment of silence in which Rin just continues looking at me, her mouth soft.

"Okay Len," she whispers, and yet again, her voice whispering, teasing my name, bounces violently in my head again and again and again.

_"Okay, Len."_

I raise my fingertips to my head and grin slightly, lopsidedly. Only Rin can have this effect on me.

(Don't worry Rin. I will protect you.)

It only takes a second for me to tense, for the back of my neck to prickle as someone's eyes fall on Rin and I. I grimace, arm slightly raised to attack if it's necessary.

But it isn't.

The assumptions that run through Miku's head when she lands that hate-filled turquoise gaze on Rin's tentative smile are terrible.

_Rin is smiling_? she'd think. _After Kaito's death? Why? Why is Len smiling too? Are they involved? With each other? With Kaito's death?_

Miku glides by without saying even a single venomous word, but the contemptuous look in her flickering eyes tells me clearly, even though she is silent:

Kaito may be dead, but Rin's hell is far from over.

* * *

Rin doesn't understand, it's written all over her nervous face. She doesn't understand why she's on the receiving end of hate, even though Kaito is dead.

_(Damn_ them. Damn them to _deepest, darkest, fiery pits of hell_.)

Miku is not Kaito. In fact, she is far from Kaito. But when it comes to facades, Miku is almost just as experienced as Kaito. In a way, she is a rose. But Miku has the deadliest thorns. She will not physically attack Rin. But Miku has something- a weapon -that Kaito didn't.

Her phone.

With that, Miku has the world of information at her fingertips and she's quickly making use of it. Malicious whispers in the form of texts are sent to everyone with a mouth and a phone. And anyone with a brain quickly warps that information, smiles to themselves, and sends it onwards to the next five people. It's a chain, a cycle of vicious gossip, and Rin is at the root of the spider's web.

By half day, Rin is a killer, a _whore_ who'd killed Kaito because Kaito was going to expose her secrets, and her degrading acts, to the world.

(I'm going to _fucking_ murder them all.)

Rin presses on futilely, Gumi at her side faithfully.

(I won't lie- I admire Gumi. She toughs out at least fifty percent of the crap that gets thrown at Rin.)

But Rin... Oh, Rin, you're brilliant. No one puts up with hell like Rin does. She smiles, albeit shakily, at everyone. Gumi scowls, arms folded over her chest, but Rin smiles faithfully like her world isn't collapsing on top of her head.

And because this is _my _fault, I, a coward in the clearest sense, avoid Rin for most of the day because I don't think I can face her. If I hadn't murdered Kaito, then Rin wouldn't even have been attacked in this new, emotional sort of way.

(But then again, if I hadn't killed Kaito by now, Rin would probably be _dead, _and I don't really want to think about that. It's torturing me, this... This _spot _halfway between guilt and defensiveness, and soon, I decide to settle on the latter.)

But even Rin is tired, by the end of the day- I can tell. She's practically climbing a mountain here, and the way I see it, she's running low on oxygen. Things have been spilling out of her locker when she opens it, people are pointing and whispering, and she's been verbally beat up. She's jumped from one accusation to another, doing her best to disprove it all. But Kaito had a lot friends, or people whom he _called _friends. And the thing is, they'd much sooner believe Kaito and Miku than they would Rin.

(Even though _they saw what he did to her.)_

And that very fact, that very notion is what drives me _mad. Sickens me. _They knew... They _all _knew what he did, yet _they _kept silent, and now they are supporting a dead _liar. _It infuriates me to no end, this _game _that they play.

She's being reclusive again. When I suddenly appear in front of her, she shies away, flinching. I wince mentally, and Gumi fixes me with a dark look. I can't blame either of them- This _is _my fault. And no matter how many times I lie to myself in defense of my actions, I just can't look at Rin and lie.

(I can't lie to those soft, jaded blue eyes.)

My hand flutters around Rin, hovering uncertainly. She tentatively laces her fingers through mine.

Those bright eyes are not accusing; they do not glare because of my selfish request. They are simply tired.

She looks up at me, blue skies telling me everything. She doesn't open her mouth.

She doesn't need to.

_I'm trying, Len_. Rin's gentle, soft voice says in my head. _I'm trying to be bright and happy, but it's difficult and I want to give up._

_I want to give up._

I shake my head automatically, my fingers pressing into the dips between hers. "Don't give up," I whisper stupidly, like she did say something.

But Rin just nods, eerily, and then, an unfathomable look in her eyes, she smiles shyly and turns, walking away.

For a while after and all during Day 2 of Rin's torture, I wander around, confused. What did that mean? How did she know that I knew what she was thinking? Rin is an enigma, but I should be easy to understand.

I come upon the art room the next day and amble in, looking around the messy, paint-splotched tables. There are kids tossing paint at easels, and there are others painting vibrant flowers and golden bars of sunlight filtering into them.

I suddenly loathe this place. This is where Rin was first bullied. This was where I got my weapon to murder Kaito. This is a place of death.

I see the cutting wire in coils on the table, and a girl is deftly looping one long piece around her fingers. She stretches it taut and then lashes downwards on a block of clay. I watch, slightly sick again as she cuts it to small pieces.

I'm going to faint; I feel lightheaded. I see this as a sign of humanity. At least I feel something- a vague sense of guilt -over killing Kaito. At least now I know that I'm a bit remorseful.

But that remorse quickly melts into fury at _them_ when Rin stumbles into the room.

"Len," she pleads, grabbing my wrist. I can't look at her. If I look at her, I will lose my temper, and if that happens, someone will die, and that is not an empty threat.

"Rin." I say instead, as calmly as I can manage. My head spins; her hand is small. Why is her hand so small? Has it always been like this? I stare at our linked hands and my hand immediately tightens around hers.

"Len, I can't..." She takes my one hand in both her small ones, beseeching me to turn around. My other fist clenches. I quiver slightly and stare at the other girl, who's chosen to ignore us. She lashes at the block.

_Can't what? What can't you do?_

Strike. Strike. Strike again. I suddenly remember digging the wire into Kaito's neck, feeling him squirm and then stop. The girl strikes the block yet again. I remember stretching the wire before lunging at him.

Rin needs to let go of me. I can't think with her there. She's dulling my senses- my entire mind is swirling with her. The more I think about Rin, the more those thoughts filter through my mind and dull the sharp memory of me killing Kaito.

(Everything in my body is _obsessed_ with _Rin_.)

Rin... Rin is _intoxicating. _She's like a drug- She's managed to null my senses, force away the bad memories, and take away the remorse from killing Kaito. She's managed to wipe away my self-loathing and force me to focus solely on her. Oddly enough, I feel sort of happy.

That is, until Rin actually speaks.

"I guess what I'm trying to say, Len... Is that I want to give up."

_What_? My mind slows again, and I carefully turn to her. Rin looks completely defeated, her head drooping. She's, quite literally, a wilting flower.

"Rin..." Her name is incredibly quiet, sort of falling from my lips.

"I'm sorry, Len." Dammit, now she's crying. I slightly panic.

(I don't know how to deal with crying girls.)

"I'm so sorry. I tried to hold out the best I could. I feel so, so bad."

It's her next words that dig themselves into me.

"We might move."

I freeze like ice has been poured on top of me- that's what it feels like.

"I just can't put up with this," she sounds so wary, so defeated, so... "It's been three days and nothing looks appealing anymore. Like... Life just doesn't look that appealing. Rinto is worried." she presses her fingers to her temples and mumbles words that stab themselves into me. "He's the only one of three people worried. Including you and Gumi."

Something small is scowling with resentment in me- But I don't know whether it is towards myself or Kaito or Miku or, god forbid, Rin.

"Rin!" I snap, nearing her with long strides. "Don't you dare talk like that. Do you hear me?" My voice lowers to a barely audible hiss and I tug her chin upwards so her eyes meet mine. A month ago, I might've been upset, confused, even sorrowful.

But now, I'm just angry. I'm angry at _them _and I'm angry at _myself _for not being able to confront them and talk to her and I'm angry at _her _for wanting to give up._  
_

"Rin," I growl again, jerking her head back towards me - she'd looked away, as if feeling guilty.

"I heard," she wails softly, rubbing her eyes like a small girl. Rin deserves to be a small girl again, a small girl without worries. "But Len, they're so relentless. They're hurting me, Len, and I can't do this anymore."

"Rin," my voice softens, my eyes falling on her soft lips, dipped downwards. I can... _Imagine _my mouth fitting perfectly against hers, but now is not the time to think of such ministrations. "Rin, I understand that you're putting up with a lot. I can't help you right now, but listen. Look," I tilt her head upwards now, gentler than before. "Shh- look. I will help you. Okay? Don't look away- I will help you. I swear."

Rin grips onto my forearms, and it hurts, but I don't care. It is with all the strength she has left that she holds onto me.

It's like... It's like she is handing me her life as some sort of... Some sort of _trinket _and is saying. "_Here. Have my life. I'm sure you'll take good care of it, right Len?"_

Her voice is a slow, excruciating whisper.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She smiles tentatively. "Okay." Then, she turns with that tiny smile still there, playing with her lips, and I know she's going to put her all into the rest of the days she has to go through this. "Thank you, Len."

I nod, slightly. Then, I realize I'm going to have to stick to my promise- I'm going to have to help Rin. And when you love someone, you don't mind helping them. At least that's how it's supposed to be.

(I'm going to help her _or_ avenge her. They're pretty much the same thing.)

* * *

**Herro. xD Did you like it? Huh? Huh? Rin and Len are getting closer- DON'T WORRY, RIN'S NOT GUNNA MOVE FOR A WHILE- And she's not necessarily going to move at all, so don't jump to those conclusions yet, kay? x'D **

**Reviews are to me like Rin is to Len! _I'm infatuated with them. xD_**


	6. The Puppet Master

**So. Meet the last update for at least two weeks. Why? BECAUSE EXAMS DSJLJDSJDSLFJDFJ UGH. Guys, exams. Fanfiction authors everywhere: Behold our greatest enemy. I have seven exams to knock out and it ain't getting any easier. I'm sorry. That's what it is. :/**

**But after that summer! Which also happens to be incredibly busy for me... Ugh. Well, we'll see. :D**

* * *

**The Puppet Master**

* * *

Looking back on it, ironically, Miku was harder to trick than Kaito.

She doesn't understand the fact that I want to talk to her; She keeps staring at me across the room after I deliver the message. And she stares. And she stares. Suspicion is clear in every area of her face; She loathes me greatly, I think.

Yet she still fears me.

I live off that fear; In fact, it gives me great pleasure to see it. The only person I can't stand fear from is Rin. Rin has to smile. If she isn't smiling, it hurts me.

"Are you coming?" I ask her quietly, and she jumps at her lockers. She looks around to make sure all of her friends are gone; Something silly and redundant, I took great care and precaution to make sure that no one was around. I'm not that careless, you see, that I will let someone see Miku leave the school alone with me.

"Er, yeah." She's bubbly and pretty. Popular; She has a lot of 'friends.' She goes everywhere in groups, she likes to take pictures of herself, she paints her nails coordinating with her scarf coordinating with her shorts. So here I am, trying to figure out the same thing- Why? Kaito was also seemingly normal- maybe a bit of an imbecile, but normal all the same. So why do they want to ruin Rin's life? What is their ulterior motive? What do they have to gain by torturing her?

She slams her locker door shut, her hand cradling an almost-empty Starbucks cup. Taking a sip, she checks her phone before looking up at me. She stands there, eyeing me suspiciously. "Okay, let's go."

We walk out together, and I am silent for the first part of the walk.

"Where are we going?" she asks, lips pursed. For a couple days after Kaito's death, Miku's sense of matching and color coding and neatness went awry. It seemed she was too distraught to be able to pull herself together. But now her tastes had returned, and polished and refined as ever. Which left me wondering, did she really care?

But that is not my main concern, nor really a concern at all. "The river," I respond, making sure my voice is minimally icy. This lets her know that this is a serious conversation, and she knows very well whom it concerns. I lead her down the path towards the river.

The river is a favorite place of the students to be. Many times they will stand around, especially with their 'significant others,' doing cutesy things like taking pictures of themselves with the river as a backdrop and holding hands as they skip rocks. Mostly, they stand around, engaged in passionate make-out sessions.

Rin likes to sit here, feet dangling in the water, as she sometimes writes and usually wants some sort of serene setting as she does.

I have picked an excellent time to be here; There is no one, they are all at the football game. Today, to honor Kaito, the football team is having a sort of memorial ceremony. I guess that is where Rin is at, and am surprised that Miku is actually free. I thought definitely that she would shake me off to go commemorate Kaito, but I suppose I guessed wrong.

She throws her backpack down and flops onto the ground, flinging her sandals behind her into the grass. It almost appears that she is smiling, inviting me to question her about why she decides to mercilessly bully someone like Rin.

"Why?" I ask quietly, and she knows the answer without me saying a single other word. She shrugs.

"It's easy to hurt someone, Len." she says, with almost a note of mischief in her smooth voice. "You should know that very well." I raise an eyebrow at her statement because no, I've never really hurt someone willingly. If you ignore Kaito's death. It almost seems that Miku knows I am the murderer.

So why is she so nonchalant about it? She talks like she is talking about the weather. Wasn't this girl Kaito's girlfriend? Shouldn't she be screaming wildly at me, eyeliner streaming down her face with her frantic tears, or running away as fast as she can so I don't deem her my next victim? She looks up at me with an air of superiority, and I ask her again, crouching down to her level.

"Why, Miku? What do you have against Rin?"

"She is pitiful, worthless, and always smiling," Miku sneers at me. "If she rises above me on the social level, my status will be shot down quicker than I can say 'shoot.' I can't afford that pathetic, ever-cheerful girl to go above me- It's always happy-go-lucky for Rin, isn't it? I bet she's never experienced an ounce of sadness in her entire life. Not a single ounce."

I cock my head at this absurdity, my blood taking over that familiar, boiling, hot feeling. "You realize that her parents are dead, right, Miku?"

"Huh. I didn't know that." Miku murmurs, but her face remains passive, uncaring. "I don't care, Len. So what if her parents are dead? Thank god they don't have a chance for reproduction. Anyway, Rin is still happy, isn't she?" Miku brushes her arms off like she's brushing away Rin's happiness.

"She doesn't care about social ladders," I hiss between my teeth. "Why do you hate Rin? These are not valid reasons."

Miku stares at me. "Because Kaito was in love with her."

This does shock me; Greatly, in fact. "He was what?"

"My boyfriend," she licks her lips quickly, "Was in love with Rin. In fact, he loved Rin while we were dating." She flicks her eyes towards my expressionless face.

"That can't be true. He constantly beat her up... All that kind of crap. He hated her." I say, my fingers digging past the grass, past the mud. I feel lighter in regards to the fact that I killed him.

"Yeah," she says chillingly. "Because I asked him to. But did he listen completely? No. He had to have his little fun with Rin while he was at it. He would comment, later- 'Your lips aren't like Rin's. Your hair isn't as soft as hers. She has a nice smile.' I hated her." Miku leans forward. "I wanted her gone. I was tired of being compared to a pathetic girl who couldn't even compare to me."

This was... This was a very elaborate plot that has nothing to do with Kaito. Kaito was just a pawn- Miku is the real mastermind. I would have never suspected her, never suspected this whole drama unfolding behind two kids whom I thought bullied Rin because of the social contrast. But no, it is never that simple.

"You asked him to beat her up?" I am seeing red again. I struggle to control myself, the heat and the anger that I feel crawling up inside of me. I can feel a monster, there, and that monster is ready to strike.

That monster is ready to kill.

(Little did I know that soon that monster would become my conscience, my guide. I would succumb completely to it. I would rely on it to direct me.)

"Of course," Miku titters, a little, light laugh as soft as a blade of grass. "And I hoped it would hurt him, too... But he was an oaf. He didn't feel anything, so long as he got his share of Rin. I kept him around because he was good-looking. But I did not care for this cheating business. To be honest," she blinks at me. "I'm not overly upset that he's dead."

That stops me still, like a clean blow to the head. She is not upset- She was never upset. She used Kaito's death as a reason to further eradicate Rin from any sort of life she could have had. She never cared for him, did not spread rumors to bring who she thought was his killer to justice- She spread rumors because now that Kaito was dead, Rin was at a vulnerable spot. And that was an advantage whose strings Miku plays puppet master for.

That monster rages inside of me, and my fingers shake. I am breathing a little harder now, trying to quell it, control it. My hands move of their own accord. I can feel all the rage, all the fury, all the anger and hatred and love, oh, I can feel that protective flair adding to the heat- And suddenly, I feel it brimming over.

One minute Miku is standing at the edge of the river, making a snide remark about falling in, and the next minute, my arms, moving on their own accord, shove her.

Miku stands there for a moment on edge, and then she teeters forward. Time stops for a moment as she falls towards the river, slowly, slowly, almost mocking me.

Her shocked eyes meet mine; I think mine are as stunned as hers are. I don't know what I am thinking, what is going on in my body and mind. They are working together, but without me. I watch her fall through the air, and I think about grabbing her hand and pulling her back up. My hand even extends, unwillingly, to her.

It is far too late.

The river is a favorite place of couples because they like to walk across the river. They achieve this by holding hands and hopping across the rocks, barefoot, because shoes have less grip and you are more likely to fall if you have them.

Miku is barefoot, but it does not help her because she does not land on her feet. I recoil, spinning around to slam my hands over my ears before I hear that soft, yet deafening crack. It both seeps into me and shatters me at the same time. She has shattered. Literally.

I sink to my knees, hand tangling in my hair tightly. I've killed another one. I've killed her I've killed her I've killed her. But this time, I do not feel that sickness in my stomach. In fact, that outpour of emotions from earlier has been quenched, and now they are sitting, still and calm, inside of me. I still feel lightheaded, though, and I am absolutely horrified. Dead, Miku is dead.

I am a murderer.

I might go to jail.

Juvenile. Or would they charge me with an adult sentence, since I am nearly an adult?

The rocks are red. Bright, crimson, blaming, accusing red. I cannot tear my eyes from them. Miku's body has slipped into the water with barely a sound.

You see, bodies sink upon first hitting the water. Miku's body sinks downwards now, but soon, perhaps after three days, it will float back up to the surface. Miku is not... Overweight, per se, so she will not float very easily. But she's not muscular, so she will not sink completely, either. My guess is that she will be partially floating, partially sinking, when someone finds her.

I am sick. I am a wicked, sinful person and I have gone too far. Quickly, I pick up Miku's backpack and dump it in the water as well. With all her books and such, it sinks like a rock. Her phone buzzes on my left and I pick it up.

My hand is quick; I dash it downwards towards the rock and it shatters into brilliant little pices, shards landing with little 'plops' against the sparkling water.

The evidence is gone.

Miku has never been here.

I see the blood on the rocks and use Miku's Starbucks cup and river water to wash it away. It clouds the water for a minute, but a quick swirl causes dust to mix with it and vanish.

I am shaking.

I am in that hysterical, quiet state when I wander to the memorial game for the football players. Rin is quietly standing to the side, looking out of place and slightly desperate. She'd told me earlier that Gumi had left because she had babysitting. Rin is a kind person, yes, who hardly searches for the bad in people. Yes, she came because she did mourn the loss. But also one of the main reasons she probably came was so the blame on her would be eased a little.

With the root problem gone, though...

I debate, before I actually walk up to her, whether or not I should tell her about Kaito's interests in her. About Miku's jealousy, about everything. I gaze at her for a minute before I shut the idea down and tried to push it down, away from my main focuses.

She sees me, and her face lights up. She trots over to me herself, handing me the tiny tub of candy she'd been holding.

"Hey, Len. I didn't know you were coming," she says in a quiet, slightly cheerful voice. I can feel her struggle to keep that smile on her face, but she looks tired and upset and too wound up to really appear all that happy as she usually is.

I don't even know what takes over me at that instant when I see her face, all sweet yet troubled. I want to take that distress away from her, I want her to stop worrying, and I want her to smile with ease. Killing Miku will probably only weigh heavier on her, but until they find her, I want Rin to be able to relax. Miku was the ringleader, after all; without her, the other girls won't do much. And hopefully, it will be at least three days- That will be enough time for Rin to pull herself together, right?

I raise my hand to her cold, red cheeks, and her blue eyes lock on mine as though she is looking up to me. I drop my hand and then pull her into a crushing hug, all of that emotion from before completely vanishing upon sight of her.

For some reason, this tiny thing has me completely wound up like a ribbon; I don't even understand.

"Len?" she sounds confused but not upset, and I hold her even tighter. My eyes are wide, my head resting over hers. I'm, for once, scared. I don't want her to know. I can't let Rin know. I can't.

She smiles gently and pats me awkwardly with one hand. "Hey, it's okay. Do you wanna talk about it?"

No, Rin, I don't care about my problems. You put up with so much; I shouldn't have to say anything, shouldn't be able to complain. Miku is down, Rin, and I promise; I will take your problems away one by one if I have to.

I hold her so close to me it's like we are one, bound together. I can feel the heat permeating through her thin jacket- God, she's small and warm and everything beautiful.

(My favorite thing. Person. Everything.)

It's desire that floods through my veins, for some reason. I have never, ever wanted Rin as badly as I want her now. Bundled up in kindness and wrapped around with a smile, Rin is a gift that I definitely do not deserve.

I tangle my hand in the hair beneath her ear and whisper, "No, it's okay. I only need you to be here." She grins, cheeks still a soft, holiday red. The smile is kind of naive, but since it's Rin I don't really care all that much.

"Okay, I'm done." I step back from her and my hand falls onto her hair. I tousle it and force a difficult quirk of my mouth as a pitiful attempt at a smile. "You're okay, right? Has everyone been treating you all right?"

"Oh," she falters. Smiling weakly, she plays with my fingers and breathes in. "You know, it's okay. I mean, the usual. The usual. Yeah."

"The usual?" My voice is icy.

She catches her breath, dismissing me with a pour of words. "Oh, you know, not much- The usual teasing, they call me the w-word a couple times. You know," she whispers. "They call me a..." she whispers "...They call me a whore." she shrugs. "It doesn't really bother me, Len, as long as you and Gumi don't believe it."

After Miku, I've been trying to clean my hands of the sin. My emotions aren't rising, my anger isn't as hot- You know, until I see the bruise against her collarbone. "Rin..."

Rin sees where my gaze has landed and tries to brush it off quickly, tugging the loose shirt she is wearing up until the dark, fresh bruise is hidden. She laughs. "It's nothing, it was really itchy and I went at it with my nails and-"

After all this time, she's still lying to me. My palms smack against the wall, pinning her within the cage I have formed with my arms. I lean towards her, still slightly shaky from being so close. "Don't you dare lie to me, Rin." I say softly. Disapprovingly. She cups her fingers over her mouth.

(Don't you dare. I know something is wrong when I see your face like that.)

"I don't want you-" she quivers. "I don't- Want you to worry- I mean, about me, cause you have- You have a life, Len! You can't constantly j-just watch over me- You know?"

"No," I murmur, adjusting my black glasses. "You want to tell me how that bruise came to be?"

"No," she squeaks, and I sigh, straightening. She thinks she is off the hook, clearly, because she wilts in relief. I think about kissing her, again, because that's all I seem to be thinking of lately. Rin's mouth soft, the sweetness emphasized by her constant smiles. I lift my hand, tracing my thumb over her bottom lip. She closes her eyes, and her lips part; I can feel the slight heat against my skin.

Damn. I think, dropping my hand. I need to get out of here before I do something I seriously regret. A confused blush rises into Rin's pale skin and she struggles to talk. She understands none of what just took place, but then, neither do I.

"Um," we both say simultaneously, and then she gives in.

"It's just a scratch," she admits, tapping her index fingers together. "This girl tried to grab the back of my shirt and she ended up grabbing, well... My skin instead." She scratches her head hastily and her eyes widen. "But it's nothing, really, Len." she says earnestly. "I promise."

I sigh and give in. There are some things I cannot control and this is one of them.

"Hey, have you seen Miku yet? I can't find her." One girl sighs as she walks by with her friend. "Honestly, she loved Kaito so much that I can't imagine why she wouldn't have come."

Both the inaccuracy of that statement and the fact that I am responsible for her being missing causes a wave of both nausea and burning hatred to sweep through me, leaving me pale. Rin notices almost immediately and clasps her hands to either side of my face, forcing me to look down at her, wild-eyed.

"Are you okay, Len?" she says, panicking. "You just turned completely pale, and-" she pauses, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Something happened, didn't it? Come to think of it, where is Miku?" she turns to me again and holds onto me tightly. "Len, what happened?"

"I don't know," I mutter, giving up. "But I need her cause she has half of my group project."

"Oh," Rin nods in understanding and her hands fall away. "I see. Well do you want to go find her?"

"No!" the word bursts out of my mouth, panicked and sharp. Rin stares at me and I hastily cover my mistake. "Um, I mean. I don't know," I sway a little, feeling even more sick. "I'm feeling sick." It was not a lie, not fully. If Rin caught on this quickly, she'd know I was responsible for Miku's death. I have to cover my lies. "Rin," I say in a whisper. "Come with me." I lead her into the brick wall around the restroom. "You've got to promise not to tell anyone what I tell you, okay?"

"Okay, Len." she whispers, looking worried. "What is it?"

"I saw this guy leading Miku down to the river about an hour ago; I was there to draw the scenery. Before I left, though, I saw them arguing. You don't think..."

"Oh no, Len!" she says, looking rather nervous for something she hasn't even done. "You don't think that he- That maybe he hurt her?" Why does she care? It was about time Miku was hurt for something she'd done. "What if he did something worse?"

I pause, taking her hands. "Do you want to go down to the river and see?"

She contemplates for a moment, and lifts her eyes to mine. "O-Okay."

So I lead her her down to the river and 'we' both scour the scene thoroughly. Rin is like a little detective, searching everywhere for something that might help her. I stiffen as she nears the rock Miku was smashed into. Hopefully Rin will think it was the 'other' guy I mentioned.

"I don't see anything," she finally surrenders, crossing her arms. "What did this guy look like, Len?"

"He had on a bright neon orange hoodie," I say, lies coming out smoothly and carefully. "Um..." I pause for effect, squinting to remember. My mind conjures some fake guy. "He had Aviator glasses... And he had blue Converses. Oh yeah, and ostentatious jeans."

Rin's jaw slackens. "He sounds... Interesting."

"He looked interesting. Uh, Rin? I'm still feeling sick."

"Right, okay." She heads back up the hill. "Huh. I wonder if she's okay." Who cares? I want to shout at her. All she did was make your life a total hell. She puts the misery in your miserableness. (A/N: Yep, I'm not crazy. Miserableness is a word.)

"Come on," she offers me her hand with a cheerful, yet slightly forced smile. "Let's go. I don't think she's here."

"U-Uh, yeah." I take her hand and thrills shock through me. I'm jittery, uncontrollably nervous. Rin is killing me, but it's the best way to go for me. Every time I'm around her, I completely lose control of myself. My normal, calm stature just- poof! -vanishes. I do things I don't generally think I'm bold enough to do.

Such as this; kissing the top of her head. My lips press against her hair. She stills. After I do it, I freeze in shock. I just kissed Rin. On the head. And she didn't run away. Screaming. After spraying me with pepper spray.

(I'm elated.)

She just stands there, and I clench up, but then her eyes soften and she smiles, slipping M&Ms into her mouth and chewing.

"Don't worry," I say, smoothing down a flyaway strand of hair. "It's going to be okay." It's going to be okay for her. I don't know about me, but Rin's world will soon brighten again. But I don't matter. No one matters but Rin.

(Right?)

* * *

**Er... Right, Len. Haha. *coughs and backs away* You're always right! And hot. *drools and runs***

**Well, there you have it- She's dead. Sorry if I offended anyone- If it makes you feel better, practically everyone dies! /shot for being an idiot. Erm. What else do I have to say...? OH YEAH! Remember, no updates for a while... Cause exams. xD Thank you for the reviews, favorites, etc... Um. Yeah. Expect Len not to be so kind in the coming chapters~**

**Haha. Hahahaha.**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**~Alias**


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